Blog of Sin

Mark Humphrys notes:

Another cause of crime is clearly the breakdown of the family, the absence of fathers, and an increased toleration for the abandonment of mothers and children while men move on in search of more fulfilling sexual relationships. The almost total breakdown of the traditional family is a dominant feature, perhaps the most dominant feature, of high-crime, “underclass” areas in the West.

When a family breaks up, it’s a sad thing, but the stats of fathers leaving the family may show something that isn’t obvious.

Why does the father leave?  Mr. Humphrys says it’s because “men move on in search of more fulfilling sexual relationships.”  I have to disagree.

I say that the fathers leave because they are expected to leave.  That’s what men have to do when the home life isn’t bearable.  Women and children stay in the environment that was created for their security and comfort, while men are expected to move on, to have the resilience to recreate their life outside this comfort and security.  Men are expected to be wanderers and are expected to be strong enough to survive without social life support until they can create a new home for themselves and another mate.

So we blame men for leaving when it’s actually what we expect of them.  While the movie “The War Of The Roses” is a comedic farce, the reason the story works is because the situation is just wrong: a man and a woman, having lost whatever bond they tried to create, cannot stay in the same place.

But let’s not overlook a possible root cause of the breakdown of the union.  A societal issue that seems to be coming more and more to the fore: men can’t trust women.

Ooooh, sounds mysoginistic, doesn’t it?  Of course if I said, “women can’t trust men”, everyone would take that as fact.  Of course they can’t, men are lying cheats and evil.  Nope, sorry.

It is my contention that that too many women don’t know how to be comfortable in a relationship.  With all the TV shows telling them how to act, all the magazines telling them how not to act, and all the music telling them what they are, they’ve simply lost any real base; they don’t know what to be.  Further, they don’t know how to treat men because of all the conflicting information shoved into their heads.

This confusion leads to a very poor home life for any man, often from the dissatisfaction of the woman.  If you can’t please her, and she can’t please herself, it’s constant strife.  Most men want nothing more than to make their woman happy; a happy woman is a happy home, and a happy home has less stress.  A happy home is an oasis from the soothsayers and naysayers who prognosticate from “on high” somewhere.

Also, a man has to be able to trust his woman.  She can’t be a blabbermouth or his community standing is diminished, along with hers for being a gossip.  Please, women of the world, you have to be smarter, more emotionally secure, or the happiness we all are looking for is never going to grow.

On a side note, love usually doesn’t last… well, not the love that you feel when you two first meet.  The giddy euphoria of new love will fade, but it needs to be replaced by something else.  That something else has to be mutual respect and trust in one another.  Without new love growing into lasting love, there’s nothing but a void. [Men, of course, need to earn the trust and respect of their woman, too.]

To conclude, the breakdown of the family has many causes, but some instances — more and more, it seems — are caused by unsatisfied women.  If a man can’t trust his woman, then he doesn’t have a woman at all.